Recently I was contacted by actress (?) Selena Gomez. She told me she had planned to write a letter, breaking up with her boyfriend Justin Bieber, but heard that I moonlight as a ghostwriter for celebrities (Tom Cruise, Kristen Stewart,Nicki Minaj ,Justin Timberlake). Gomez asked me if I would write the breakup letter for her. I told her I was in the middle of an apology letter from General Petraeus to his wife, but would bump her request to the front. Unfortunately, Ms. Gomez was anything but pleased with my work. Her notes to me appear in red.
Dear Justin Beaver (Bieber! And I wouldn’t address him with his first and last name, I’m his girlfriend)
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